MMG Gripes

Slipping ...

I was in a meeting yesterday with my boss, my technical advisor, a SGM and my organization's MD/CEO and I was almost horribly wrong about a rough calculation I made and shared with them. When I recalculated again in my head I was almost off by about 9%, which would have been disastrous coz it would not have met the minimum threshold that they deliberated and decided on thanks to my advice. I would have inadvertently caused my company to lose money. Damn. I panicked inside. I tried to calm myself and got distracted during the meeting. I couldn't do anything to stop the growing distress within me. I always knew I would slip up; but I never thought it would go that horribly wrong. Darn. Being wrong is one thing but to actually make the company lose a hell lot of money in the process is bloody scary. I was so terrified that I made up my mind right then and there that if my calculation was indeed that faulty; I would confess the entire truth to my MD/CEO. And pray that I don't get fired.

After the meeting, I walked back to my table, calmed myself as best I could and started my calculations again; this time very slowly and very carefully. I checked and rechecked my calculations and whooped with delight ... Thank GOD, it was definitely a miracle ... I was only off by 3% from my rough estimate which was still within the threshold they wanted. YES!! My job was still safe. I didn't have to see my MD and actually admit my failings in simple math. What a relief. But I'm still in minor shock. I used to thrive in stressful situations but right now I'm slipping. I'm beginning to make mistakes. Simple mistakes at first but now they're getting bigger and bigger. This was indeed a wake-up call. I have to learn to focus to one thing at a time. I'm a little scatter-brained these past couple of months. Wasn't this bad when I was dealing with smaller projects no matter how many they were. But now being involved in 2 major projects that require many re-workings while supporting other smaller projects are beginning to make me slip. I need to fix this situation and myself before it gets any worse. It'll be disastrous not only to me but also to my company if I don't. Now if only I knew how ... hmm ...

posted by Marg @ 10:51 AM