MMG Gripes

These are always the same phrases given by friends during the turbulent times of sorting out your feelings in the post breakup stage. They are merely trying to boost your self-esteem. God knows how down you can get after a break-up. Somehow, all these phrases just don't help. They kinda enhance the fact that even a sub-standard human does not cherish you.

I prefer the phrase "It just wasn't meant to be" ... besides, true love, no matter what obstacle is in your path, will not diminish. True love is a meeting and compromise between two individuals on ALL levels. Not just feelings. Basically, true love means working out the kinks or accepting each other as they are, and being happy or just content with that. When someone tells me they love me, all I ask is do you even know the real me ... not surprisingly, the answer is always "NO". Of course you don't. I don't really open up, well, not until someone asked me to. But then again, why bother? People will just see what they wanna see. And refuse to acknowledge anything else that makes them uncomfortable. I wonder if the guys realize that they're the ones showing who they really are to me. I guess that's why I just mourn a few weeks and accept things as they are after a breakup. Why mourn the loss of someone who did not really love you in the first place? Besides, you only lose true love through death ... or sometimes not even in death ... the love is never lost, just the person you truly love.

I'm always wondering why people say I'm heartless. I have a heart, I use it often enough. It's just I accept my circumstances and try to understand them. If someone wants to go, then let them go. Breaking up is not a decision made lightly. I respect that. And I do not want to prolong the uncomfortable situation. That's really cruel to both parties. Some may argue with me that we should fight for what we want. That works in life but never in love. If you have to fight to stay in love, it's really not love is it? True love does not need fighting to keep it. It won't go anywhere no matter what happens. That's my belief and I'm sticking to it. Of course it hurts like hell to let the one you love go. Then again, it pretty much sucks that I keep falling for guys who seem nice but turn out to be someone you can't depend on when things get a little rough. I'm so gullible, I hate it. To get through, I just keep in mind that that person is not THE ONE TRUE LOVE and you'll be able to live through the pain. I'm still hurting but as each day passes the pain eases. The scars remain, though. Battle scars of finding true love. It's the failures that teach you most about life and love.

We all grow up a little after a breakup. I still have a lot of growing up to do and am still learning how to love myself. Hopefully, in time, I'll get the right one for me. Till then ... I'm content with discovering my own personal mysteries ... I'm growing up; slowly but surely :)